I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
