we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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