Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Your dad touched me again.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
