i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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