I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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