Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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