You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
