Do vagina's smell?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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