Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
