Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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