There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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