I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
