I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
