I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
