His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
