Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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