I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
