oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
