I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You left your phone here
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