Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
