ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
