Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
