there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He has the fingertips of a God
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize