It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Of course I have a pirate flag
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have so many feelings about this burrito
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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