Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
