so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
