everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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