I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
