I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You ruined the universe
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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