nut hugger
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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