the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think i got beer on your cat.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
