i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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