My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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