can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
