Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize