Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
