Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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