I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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