Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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