is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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