What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
