i was born a porn star she said
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
