problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
