Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my liver is dry heaving
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
