i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
