hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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