There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
