Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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