if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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