Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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