There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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