but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
