another moral hangover. fuck.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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