Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
