we have officially lost it.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
