I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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