Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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