I can text with my tongue
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Still dying that you shit outside
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
dude. I can hear the air.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
