they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
