can u get pink eye on your cock?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
