There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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