got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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