Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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